Apart from the stellar final section, there isn’t a whole lot to recommend in Twilight Zone: The Movie. Two of the four short films are piss poor and one is merely okay.However, the opening prologue is rather amusing. The film begins with two men driving along a deserted road at night. It’s unclear whether the men know each other, but they talk about...

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Consider this when deciding whether you want to see Crank: High Voltage. Would you enjoy the sight of a man being penetrated by a shotgun and would you be amused by the ensuing interrogation (complete with twisting of the shotgun in the man’s ruined anus)? If your answer to that question is yes, then you’re my kind of twisted son of a bitch...

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I should hate Crank. After all, it features hyperactive MTV-style direction, a ridiculous plot and bad acting by the ton. But instead I ended up enjoying it a great deal. It's a film that knows it's trash and just wants you to have a good time – plot and character are unimportant.The reason why the film succeeds so triumphantly is because of the...

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Like Quentin Tarantino says in Sleep With Me, Top Gun is a gay film. How gay? Put it this way, it's gayer than an oiled wrestler doing the worm in a bed of pink feathers with chocolate sauce smeared across his tanned buttocks. We're talking super gay.One of the few enjoyable things about watching this horrendous film is listening to the dialogue and...

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A film like Paris, je t’aime was always going to be hit and miss. Consisting of 18 short films, each tries to tell a Parisian love story in about five minutes. It goes without saying that some of the films are charmers and some are absolute dross.Okay, so let’s get the crap out of the way first. What are the stinkers?The film that...

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Blindness is a film that was reviled by the majority of critics. Everyone seemed to agree that it was worthless. And because of this, I ended up avoiding the movie when it was released in cinemas. My reasoning was that surely this many people couldn’t be wrong. Well, they were. Fernando Meirelles’ film is tough and uncompromising, but it isn’t the cinematic atrocity...

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